I’m on early release for Christmas.

If I promised to behave myself they said I could go home for Christmas, so armed with a carrier bag of medication that I’d picked up from the chemist I headed home, there were a hell of a lot of women in there picking up prescriptions, apparently 25% of all women are on medication  witch means there are 75% running around untreated which is quite scary. I made my way to the nearest bus stop, normally I’d take a taxi but I don’t want to run the risk of being groomed for sex by some Pakistani cab driver.taxi-licence It’s not exactly rocket science to work out that it can’t just be one or two drivers who were fiddling with twelve year old girls because as there were over 1400 victims   I think it’s safe to say that most of Rotherham,s taxis are driven by pedophiles and rapists.multi Although I suspect since this scandal as hit the headlines they’ve turned their attention’s to the local goat population. indexSouth Yorkshire council have now stepped up security at the local community farm after two goats and a sheep were found to be involved  in a sex for feed ringindian-goat-funny. There are reports of local smallholders are forming vigilante groups to prevent their  goats from being kidnapped and forced into the sex trade. imagesSo if you see anything suspicious like a goat in a taxi on the M18 heading towards Doncaster call the police.goat-man-funny-travel-like-a-boss

10492473_10204295293448273_1892308706833842721_nSo here I am waiting for the bus outside this electrical shop I’m looking though the window watching Sky news, apparently there’s a typhoon on the Philippine coast  causing havoc, philippines_typhoon_haiyan_aftermath_nov_13_2 and as I look around at all the deprivation, carnage and despair on the faces of the  thousands of displaced foreigners  get_imgI wonder what it must be like in the Philippines.  The bus finally turned up and I finished up sat next to the sister of Abdul Ali who owns the shop at the bottom of our road apparently he was seriously injured in a hit and run and is now on a life support machine , so today the family have an agonizing decision to make should they close the shop and go visit him or do they stay open as usual.

Walking up the garden path the front door opened and my carer stood there with a look of deja- vu ” your back then” she said “come in ,kettle’s on “. So I’m sat on the sofa with a hot mug of tea and she starts taking off all her clothes ” put your tea down and make mad passionate love to me, twice! “. Well I was amazing ,I mean it was amazing and afterwards she told me to finish drinking my tea but it was still a bit to hot.

She had plans to get me out of the house over Christmas so she enlisted me into the sally army’s soup kitchen as a helper.  soup kitchenHowever she must have forgot that last year I was asked to leave after telling the people in the soup kitchen to hurry up and finish eating as some of us have homes to go to. Anyway  the Met office have said it’s going to be a warm end to December with record temps which as got most of the voluntary groups worried as they’re facing the realization that the local vagrants, wino’s and junkie’s might prefer to sit outside guzzling cheap super market larger rather than listening to a load of god bothering  happy clapping do gooders.



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