I’ve sat on benches all over the world watching the world go by, be it Barcelona, Amsterdam Paris or Ingolmels there always something to see. so here I am sat on a graffiti covered bench over looking a council estate in Rotherham with the fragrant odor of urine wafting in the air. I’m on my break at the moment as I have a part time job at the local bingo hall, they were short staffed so they took me on for a couple of weeks and so far it’s not to bad. I got told off for not calling out the right numbers, like meal for two 69 and so on, also I’ve learn’t how to get an 70yr old woman to shout ” fuckin hell” all you need to do is get her friend on the opposite table to shout ” bingo” . Anyway back to the bench, on my way here I called in to a fast food outlet and asked for a chicken burger and fries to which the spotty adolescent replied ” do you want fries with that sir ”
So I’m sat here munching on this processed chicken shite looking at what amounts to our future, the youth of today most of them can’t dress themselves properly with their trousers falling down and their shoe laces undone riding about on a stolen BMX bike unable to string a simple sentence together without saying ” like” or ” innit” . Most of them are drunk or on drugs looking for the next hit and nothing say’s junkie quite like standing outside cash convertors at 8,30 am with a PS1 in a Argos carrier bag.
I’ve just spotted my neighbors lad shuffling down the road, he suffered a nasty brain injury about three years ago and finished up having a full frontal lobotomy, he still looks a mess head shaven stumbling about talking bollocks. But the good news is he is on the mend and has got a bit of a part time job handing leaflets out for the BNP in Rotherham town center on Saturday morning. His parents are a nice couple but they both suffer from anorexia it’s not a problem until they start making love to each other they seem to go at it for hours and it’s hard to get to sleep at night it’s like listening to a skeleton having a wank in a biscuit tin.
Here’s a joke the local priest told me yesterday.
Two flea’s on a fanny one’s a junkie the others a mugger, how can you tell them apart.
The junkie will be sniffing crack and the mugger will be hiding in the bush.